Random funny ramble of mines

i swear to god that the day a cute star wars/cosplay/nerdy/geeky girl walks up to me and says she likes me, its because a fucking bus hit me and i am in a coma and i will wake up 9 years later to find out mother base was destroyed and i will turn into the knight that Gotham needs but not deserve and eventually realize that i was not actually batman but instead i was the guy that followed batman around believing i was batman and helped him stop mother from destroying us all, but then the fire nation attacked.

troll of the day and still on going….

high light

guy: i totally enjoy complete satisfaction having sex with my wife . shes soft , smells great . is considerate , attentive . gives more than she takes .

me: if she gives more then she takes she must require additional pylons

ekibiogamy:

doing pull ups at night to vent.

cant believe i have 200 notes on this o.o  that fucking awesome! i never expected that ^_^ thanks!

ekibiogamy:

doing pull ups at night to vent.

cant believe i have 200 notes on this o.o  that fucking awesome! i never expected that ^_^ thanks!

but the moment I looked twice,
I saw the woman I was born to love

I’m Chinese, so I wonder if non-Chinese understand

fattiesinlove:

salvadorolliesout:

superjellycake:

mydollyaviana:

that in the Chinese version of Disney’s Mulan, the fake name she gives is “Ping”, but her family name “Fa” in English is “Hua” in Chinese, therefore her full name is “Hua Ping”, which is literally “Flower Vase”, and that’s why Shang is so bewildered because it’s a silly name.

image

but OP how could you not tell them the best part

“hua ping”/flower vase is chinese slang for “camp gay”

image
I—

……D-Disney?

hellnoradfems:

littletrenchcoatangel:

cognitivedissonance:

hakuna-mituna:

dreamsofkittens:

abbysucks:

mundanematt:

The swinging pendulum of sexism arrives! Ladies, Men can get raped too. Remember that.

Just to put some perspective in this for those people who may be confused at how a guy can get a boner but not really be sexually charged, so to speak…Ladies, you know how your nipples get hard for seemingly no reason (sans stepping into a cold room anyway)? You go to put on a shirt and your nipples are poking out like they haven’t seen daylight in over 40 years? Or you brush them up against something and BAMMO, nipple town? Or someone slaps you in the tits and they’re standing full mister?
You get where I’m going with this? Your sexual organs are built to respond to stimulus, be it one you personally find sexually gratifying or not.  Saying a dude who gets a boner while he’s otherwise not consenting to sex is lying about the fact would be like saying any girl who gets wet while getting raped is actually enjoying it/wants it.
so… you know… dont be stupid about this people. guys can get raped too and girls can most definitely be the fuckin perps.

People who think men don’t get raped are just as bad as the people who think men can’t control their urges to rape women. It happens less often, but it still happens, and it’s just as traumatizing for the male victim. You can’t just disregard a victim based on their gender.

Can we also include that females can rape other females and males can rape other males too?Every.Single.Person.Can.Be.A.Victim.Or.An.Offender

All of the above.


That one time a post on Tumblr about male rape victims didn’t get shit on at all. The only thing anywhere near bad about this is the insistence that men are raped a lot less often, which is incorrect.

I am  guy and was Molested by a older girl when i was young she was like 20 and i was may be 8-10 year old every time i share the story every one seems to think i was “lucky”

hellnoradfems:

littletrenchcoatangel:

cognitivedissonance:

hakuna-mituna:

dreamsofkittens:

abbysucks:

mundanematt:

The swinging pendulum of sexism arrives! Ladies, Men can get raped too. Remember that.

Just to put some perspective in this for those people who may be confused at how a guy can get a boner but not really be sexually charged, so to speak…

Ladies, you know how your nipples get hard for seemingly no reason (sans stepping into a cold room anyway)? You go to put on a shirt and your nipples are poking out like they haven’t seen daylight in over 40 years? Or you brush them up against something and BAMMO, nipple town? Or someone slaps you in the tits and they’re standing full mister?

You get where I’m going with this? Your sexual organs are built to respond to stimulus, be it one you personally find sexually gratifying or not.  Saying a dude who gets a boner while he’s otherwise not consenting to sex is lying about the fact would be like saying any girl who gets wet while getting raped is actually enjoying it/wants it.

so… you know… dont be stupid about this people. guys can get raped too and girls can most definitely be the fuckin perps.

People who think men don’t get raped are just as bad as the people who think men can’t control their urges to rape women. It happens less often, but it still happens, and it’s just as traumatizing for the male victim. You can’t just disregard a victim based on their gender.

Can we also include that females can rape other females and males can rape other males too?

Every.Single.Person.Can.Be.A.Victim.Or.An.Offender

All of the above.

That one time a post on Tumblr about male rape victims didn’t get shit on at all. The only thing anywhere near bad about this is the insistence that men are raped a lot less often, which is incorrect.

I am  guy and was Molested by a older girl when i was young she was like 20 and i was may be 8-10 year old every time i share the story every one seems to think i was “lucky”

broken-for-infinity:

helloookellyyy:

crotchkat-vantass:

juststrokemyglabella:

2spookysamy:

highonvodka:

themixedbagofspooky:

spoopy-len-in-a-dress:

riningear:

doryishness:

displaced-angel:

ryedragon:

inritum:

reblog and make a wish!this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO
I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS
LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL
IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.
GUYS.
HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER
20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.
GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG


OMFG I ASKED FOR THIS GUY TO ASK ME OUT AND AFTER A MONTH OF HIM BEING MAD AT ME, HE ASKED ME OUT FACE TO FACE TODAY
OH MY GOD JUST DO IT YOU WONT REGRET IT OIBDSAFOABVRO9BROURT

none of my wishes came true…

broken-for-infinity:

helloookellyyy:

crotchkat-vantass:

juststrokemyglabella:

2spookysamy:

highonvodka:

themixedbagofspooky:

spoopy-len-in-a-dress:

riningear:

doryishness:

displaced-angel:

ryedragon:

inritum:

reblog and make a wish!


this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

OMFG I ASKED FOR THIS GUY TO ASK ME OUT AND AFTER A MONTH OF HIM BEING MAD AT ME, HE ASKED ME OUT FACE TO FACE TODAY

OH MY GOD JUST DO IT YOU WONT REGRET IT OIBDSAFOABVRO9BROURT

none of my wishes came true…

When you see it, REBLOG IT.
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
If you ever want to talk: My Tumblr ask is always open.
my friend was buying Christmas decorations… this is how this was in its bag….
JOLLY MERRY CHRISTMAS

my friend was buying Christmas decorations… this is how this was in its bag….

JOLLY MERRY CHRISTMAS